No panic attack, no pizza.

They all said “recovery was possible” and I rolled my eyes. They all said “it gets easier, I promise” and I never believed them. I really thought I would live with my eating disorder forever, or at least until it eventually took my life. I couldn’t see how the pain had purpose.

Anorexia nervosa made me terrified of all foods, including my most favorite; pizza. I had panic attacks over pizza. I would sob, my body would shake, and I wouldn’t be able to breathe as I looked at the slice of pizza on my plate. And I did it anyway. And the more I did it, the easier it got.

Yesterday while I was out running errands, I got a slice of pizza for lunch without thinking twice about it, and ate the whole thing panic attack free.

Why am I telling you this?

Because maybe there’s someone like me who needs hope in their own eating disorder recovery journey.

Or maybe there’s someone that just needs to know that you can do hard things. And the more you do hard things, the easier they get. You’ve got this.

No panic attack, no pizza.