By: Eryn Eddy
If you’ve found yourself newly single. I wrote this for you:
Maybe there have been times that you placed your worth in others' hands, thinking they would be trustworthy to remind you that you are so worth loving, and yet here you are more heartbroken.
If you are tired, if you have feelings in this season of your life and you don’t know where to place them, I hope these words will add peace to the chaos that may be swarming inside as you’ve begun identifying what you are carrying. I hope these words will remind you of your true inherent worth.
I wrote this in my journal on one of my darkest nights. I wanted to remind myself of this. And I hope it helps you as much as it did me.
Your eyes have seen things. There will be a day when those tired eyes will share what you’ve seen. What mistakes you’ve made. What mistakes you’ve seen others make. You will share what your heartfelt in those moments. You will share your imperfections. You will share the aches and fears you feel. You will be able to share why you were tired and drained. You will share what actions you chose and what actions you did not. There will come a time when you are healed from the pain and you will share because you’ve learned to live in freedom.
You will share what your eyes have seen because, maybe, if it helps one person, that means the pain wasn’t pointless. You will be able to share how focusing on thankfulness is the only path forward—why you get out of bed. You’ll share what being stripped down meant to you while you’re being built back up. You will tell how you are able to see past the moment and understand a bigger purpose in all of this. Maybe your eyes were heavy. Your heart was heavier. But you are learning how to lay down that weight. You know the capacity it takes to love yourself; perhaps you loaned that capacity to other people thinking they’d do a better job. But that’s not possible for them. However, you will find out who can love you, and that will allow you to feel peace for the first time. You will share the discovery that the God who designed you will have more grace, forgiveness, and adoration for you than anyone else. When you come back home to yourself, He will say, I missed you. No embrace can comfort the way His can. No voice sounds better than His does. He saw you at your lowest. His heart broke when yours did, and He knew how to piece it back together. He knew the tape would only be a quick fix, so He broke out the glue. The God who created you is continually gluing the pieces of your heart back together—no matter how many times He watches it shatter like glass against the wall. He has seen you trying to carry your brokenness alone, and He’s saying,
“This weight is too heavy for you, and the glass is too sharp to handle on your own. This will take a while, but you’ll be fully alive again. Let me show you what kind of art I can create after it has been broken.”
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead-end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.
“So don’t be afraid: I’m with you.
I’ll round up all your scattered children,
pull them in from east and west.
I’ll send orders north and south:
‘Send them back.
Return my sons from distant lands,
my daughters from faraway places.
I want them back, every last one who bears my name,
every man, woman, and child
Whom I created for my glory,
yes, personally formed and made each one.'"